After a week or so of being completely inconsolable I was resigned to the fact that we could do nothing but wait.
My husband and I had spent the past year meticulously planning our wedding for Sunday 14th June 2020, then Covid -19 happened and all weddings were cancelled.
It was a difficult time with the whole country, in fact most of the world, in lockdown, something unimaginable when we’d gotten engaged on Christmas day in Val d’Isère, a wonderfully picturesque ski resort, 18 months earlier.
By the end of April, with our wedding date just six weeks away, the country was still in crisis. It became clear that we would not be able to proceed, so we sent out THE email to all our 140 guests postponing the wedding.
Several months later and we were finally able to start planning again and set a new date, 3rd September 2020. Then due to another twist of fate we had to change it again (!) and that’s when things really got complicated. We realised that our marriage notice only lasted a year and expired at the end of August, which was a major headache when our local town hall was closed and Barnet Council had announced it would only be registering births and deaths when it reopened. I tried calling them to arrange an appointment, but got nowhere.
With no idea when Barnet would start issuing marriage notices again, waiting for our new notice to be issued risked pushing our wedding date back to October or later, which we were keen to avoid as we wanted a summer wedding. We were also concerned that the government might ban wedding ceremonies and receptions again if infection rates rose.
Frustrated by Barnet’s response, my husband wrote an impassioned letter to the council, copying in several councillors along with our MP, pleading for an urgent appointment. Much to my surprise our MP promptly replied to say that he would raise our case with the council and about two weeks later the registry office rang us to arrange an immediate appointment. Finally, some good news!
After much discussion, deliberation and negotiation we settled on the 16th September 2020 as our new wedding date.
The new wedding plans, in line with the restrictions and government guidelines, unfortunately, meant having to cancel our caterer who had been working with us since we first began planning our wedding. It also meant we were not able to have the band we wanted play or the DJ we had booked who was going to fill in the gaps when the band wasn’t playing. We were fortunate, however, that we had taken out John Lewis wedding insurance and were able to recover all deposits we had paid the suppliers we were no longer able to use. When taking out the insurance, of course, it never crossed our minds that we would actually need to make a claim.
At last after all the waiting, all the uncertainty and all the re-arranging, the day arrived!
One of the highlights of the day was using my dad’s friend’s classic white Mustang convertible as our wedding car. Luck was on our side now and the weather was glorious. I was driven to Kinloss Synagogue (where the ceremony was held), along with my Maid of Honour, with the roof of the car down, feeling like a celebrity. This part of the day far exceeded what I could ever have hoped for and is a memory I will cherish forever.
We FINALLY got married under a lovely chuppah complete with a chandelier, positioned beneath the open skylight of the Deal Hall (a purpose built function room inside Kinloss), exactly how we had planned all along, with 28 close family and friends in attendance in an intimate and beautiful ceremony. Everyone was wearing masks and the Rabbi was very strict regarding all things Covid. We were so happy that my husband’s parents were able to fly in from Singapore (where they currently live) to be with us and see us get married, even if it did mean them putting a brave face on having to endure a month of quarantine.
We had originally planned to use the standard United Synagogue ketubah, which is free, but ultimately we felt it would be more fitting to have a special one. After visiting a few jewish shops in north London and not finding anything I particularly wanted and even considering ordering a kebutah from America, I found a lovely artist nearby to work with who custom-made a stunning, modern and unique ketubah for us. It is now proudly hanging on our bedroom wall.
After the ceremony was finished we hosted a dinner at an excellent kosher restaurant a few minutes drive from the synagogue. We set up a large television screen in the restaurant and our videographer live streamed the ceremony for the rest of our guests who couldn’t be with us at the synagogue due to the covid restrictions. We were somewhat anxious about the quality of the live feed, however on the day it worked and was fine.
Star of the evening was an impressive 2.5 foot tall croquembouche (profiterole tower) which we had specially commissioned from the restaurant’s head chef who had never made parve (non dairy) profiteroles before. His hard work paid off – they were some of the best profiteroles I have ever had! Many guests were delighted to take some profiteroles home to their children and/or other family members who were not able to attend the wedding.
After 4 speeches (interspersed throughout the delicious meal) and rectiting grace after meals, just like that, it was all over and my husband and I headed home, exhausted and happy, to start our new lives as a married couple.
Suffice to say while we were sad that so many people we wanted there were not able to join us, we feel extremely fortunate that on the whole the day went exactly as we had been (re)planning for the past few months.
We had very much been looking forward to a week in Mauritius (with a few days in dubai on the way) for our honeymoon but of course Covid quickly put paid to our dream holiday. We still hope to go one day but at the moment we don’t know when that will be. For now we had one night away (the night after the wedding) at a medieval mansion style hotel on the south coast of England. Activities included a relaxing massage and an invigorating swim in the hotel’s heated outdoor pool. We also met Kevin, the hotel’s resident peacock and his friend.
